


Under the Tree

by BubbaKnowlton



Series: Evil Space Dads [47]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Dad AU, Kylo has a youtube channel, M/M, Mitaka owns a flower shop, Mpreg, Multi, Poe Rey and Finn adopted 2 kids, fire & burn mentions, mpreg Hux, poor Mall Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 03:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10480851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubbaKnowlton/pseuds/BubbaKnowlton
Summary: Rey and Finn are horrified to find that they're behind Kylo and his son Snoke in line for the mall Santa with their daughter.Then, like every year in the Organa-Solo household, Snoke is in charge of passing out all the presents. Then, also, like every year, Kylo goes to fight someone. Hux is sick of Christmas.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hoooo here's another fic by ur favorite boi,, Oblio  
> A Christmas fic, at the end of march. This is so late (I would have said early But I started this before Christmas last year so.)  
> Thank you to Isilwenshadewind for giving me Kaylanna's name :^O !  
> And Phasma's a tarantula because god,,,the ghost ornamental is so pretty

**Under the Tree**

"Why are we going to see a man dressed as Santa when he's not even real?" Finn shrugged at his daughter's question. He looked over to Rey, who shrugged as well. "Mommy, it was your idea."

"I thought it'd be fun! A nice little memory. And Auntie Leia wanted us to send a cute Christmas photo to her before we go to her house, Kay."

"Oh," Kaylanna said, "I get it." She leaned against Finn's shoulder. "Why do we celebrate Christmas when you two aren't Christians?"

"Aunt Leia used to celebrate it with her family, so she's continuing it. Uh, not with Uncle Han and Uncle Ben. With her adoptive parents. They were Catholic."

Kaylanna nodded in understanding. "It's fun. I get to see everybody!" Kaylanna loved to see everyone in the family. "Well, I don't like Uncle Ben and his family."

"I'm with you on that, kiddo." Finn nodded solemnly.

Rey didn't want to defend her cousin, but she didn't want her small daughter to feel negative at such a young age towards relatives she hardly ever saw. "Don't say that around him if he goes to the reunion, okay? He's still a family member."

"He's mean, and Uncle Hux is even more mean. And cousin Snoke is weird, and also mean."

"She's got a point, Rey."

"You're right. They're mean people, but you should just ignore them, Kay. Don't let them bother you. And don't make fun of your cousin for how he looks, even if he's mean."

"No, he's just weird, no matter how he looks. Ah. I see Uncle Ben right there. And Snoke."

Sure enough, in the line for Santa, Rey could see her cousin and his son. Kylo was texting on his phone, looking horribly out of place in his all black gothic outfit. He'd be wearing his mask if it wasn't banned inside of the mall, so he'd settled for his scarf. Snoke looked bored out of his mind, in a black sweater with a big skull on it, and khakis. He had on a hat like usual, the usual beanie switched for a winter hat with ear flaps. It was black with a red pom-pom on top.

They ended up right behind the father-son duo. Finn gave Rey a pleading look, but she was adamant. If she couldn't take her own advice in just ignoring Kylo and Snoke, then how was she fit to teach her daughter?

"Oh, shit, Dad, behind us." Snoke noticed them and tugged on his father's sleeve. Kylo turned around, jamming his phone into his pocket. He smirked.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite cousin. Hello there. Bringing your brat out to meet Santa?"

While Rey was ignoring him, Finn responded, "What are you doing here? I thought Hux hated Christmas, with how Atheist you all are."

Kylo scowled. "For the record, Traitor, I'm a witch. Hux just hates holidays in general. He thinks they're ridiculous."

"Then why are we in line for a mall Santa?" Snoke huffed. "I thought we were buying pet supplies."

"Snoke... Do you know how mad Hux would be if I told him I was buying you supplies for a tarantula? I had to come up with some excuse for going to the mall with you. I said I was buying him gifts, and I wanted you to come to help, and to sit on the mall Santa's lap."

"Ew."

"I'll be taking pictures and a video to prove it. It'll be hilarious." Kylo patted Snoke's head. Snoke sighed. "Hux will love it once he sees it."

-

The ignoring worked for the remainder of the wait in line. Finally, it was Snoke's turn to go up to the mall Santa. Kylo started filming with his phone. Snoke gave him a disgusted look before walking up, giving an exaggerated exhale. He reluctantly climbed onto the Santa's lap.

Rey wasn't sure what exactly happened, her view a bit obscured by Kylo, but Snoke suddenly said, loudly, "Don't look at me like that. I got trapped in a burning car when I was little." Kylo bristled, and Rey knew that he would definitely go to beat up the mall Santa if Snoke was made fun of in any way. She didn't like the kid at all, he was a jerk, but she would have to agree with Kylo. Even a mean child didn't deserve to have their scars made fun of.

"What would you like for Christmas, little boy?"

In a flat voice, Snoke answered, "I want the sweet, sweet love of Satan." Kylo snorted. Rey rolled her eyes, and Kaylanna asked Finn what that meant. He just sighed and told her he'd explain later. The mall Santa was silent in shock, and then Snoke looked over at his father, saying to the camera. "I actually want a tarantula."

Kylo stopped the recording, and then snapped a few pictures. Snoke hopped off, and went back to him. "I'm proud of you, Snoke. Let's go buy a tank for your new tarantula and find some nice gifts for Hux."

"Never make me do that again."

"Eh. No promises."

-

Kaylanna was a relief to the mall Santa, as she happily sat on his lap and had much less scarier parents than Snoke did. "Hi! I'm Kay."

"Hello, little one. I'm Santa Claus. What would you like for Christmas?"

"I want my family to all be happy on Christmas when we're at my Great Aunt's house!"

"Aw, how very sweet of you. And what would a lovely little girl like you like for yourself?"

"Hmm... some new art supplies! I'd like new watercolors." Finn and Rey mentally took note of that to buy more for her. Finn took a picture of her on Santa's lap, and then she slipped off to return to them. She smiled up at them, and Rey scooped her up. "That was fun!"

"Let's go pick out some little gifts for the rest of the family, and for Papá and BB, okay?"

"Okay!" Kaylanna looked ecstatic at the prospect of buying a present for her older sibling and Poe.

She was a gift herself to have, since she pointed out two things that apparently Poe and BB had told her they wanted, but hadn't mentioned to either of them. A model ship of the same type his mother had flown, and a backpack that matched BB's favorite color scheme. They picked out some wrapping paper rolls, and went to various other stores to pick up smaller gifts for Poe and BB, and for the rest of the family.

They went home and wrapped the presents before Poe and BB returned from their own outing. BB dragged Kaylanna to go play with them as soon as they were home, and Poe ducked into the bedroom to wrap what they'd gotten.

Finn made hot chocolate for them all and called the kids to the kitchen so they could all enjoy it together. Poe restrained BB from dumping the entire bag of little marshmallows into their mug, and all of them laughed as BB pouted. After drinking their mug, they snatched the bag and shoved a fistful of marshmallows into their mouth. Kaylanna grabbed some as well, giggling.

-

Everyone gathered at the Organa-Solo household for Christmas, and put presents under the large tree in the living room. Kaylanna and BB were forced to spend time with Snoke by Luke, who guided Snoke to them by the shoulders.

"You're cousins! You should enjoy each other's company!"

"Grandpa, he's weird." Kaylanna said. BB nodded in agreement. "And mean. We don't want to."

"Wow, nothing like a four year old to destroy my self-esteem."

"I'm five!"

"Three year old, got it."

Kaylanna was going to say five again, but remembered her mother's advice and said nothing. She ignored him, and went back to coloring. Luke made Snoke sit next to them, and patted his head. "Have fun, you three!"

Snoke grumbled, grabbing the tassels of his hat and pulling it down. He sat in silence for a few minutes while BB and Kaylanna drew pictures with crayons. Then he sighed, and pulled his hat up so he could see. He looked at what Kaylanna was drawing, a picture of her family and their house. The house wasn't finished, so he was struck with inspiration. He grabbed some crayons, some orange, red, black, and yellow.

"Hey, can I see that?" He kept the four crayons out of sight. Thinking he just wanted to look at it, Kaylanna slid the picture over, smiling.

"Sure! It's Papá, Dad, Mom, BB, me, and our house!"

"Huh, nice. You know what, though? I know how to make it better." He pulled out the black crayon and started adding to the house. She watched him, fine with what he was doing so far. He drew a basic house, remembering what hers looked like, and then pulled out the yellow. "A house..."

"Our house isn't yellow. It's white."

"Just hold on." He scratched in yellow at the windows and the door, and then pulled out the orange and red. She gasped when she realized what he was doing.

"Oh no!"

After he finished adding the red and orange to the house, he grinned. "It's on fire. You know- this needs one more thing."

"No! You're ruining it!" She tried to stop him, but he started adding fire to the family members, fending her off by huddling over the paper. BB tried to help, but he drew too fast.

He sat up, snickering. "Finished!" He picked up the black and signed his name. "Just add your name, Kaylanna."

"No! You drew fire on my parents!"

"I'll just write your name for you." He wrote Kaylanna in basic print over his own name. "Perfect!"

"You ruined it!"

"It looks great." Snoke smirked as she got upset. BB hugged her, sticking their tongue at him. 

The three of them looked up as footsteps approached. "Snoke, what are you doing?"

Snoke smiled up at his father. "Kaylanna and I did a collab. I drew most of the house, and the fire, and she did the rest."

"Oh, cool. Nice job, kids." Kylo patted Snoke's head. "You're both little artists. Come on, Hux wants to make sure you're okay. And it's almost time to start opening presents, so come to the living room, guys."

-

Kaylanna mournfully handed her picture over to Rey when she asked to see it. "Snoke added to it... He messed it all up."

"I'm guessing he drew the fire?"

Kylo came over and clapped Rey on the back. "Our kids are artists! I'm proud of them."

"Your son ruined my daughter's picture."

"Ruined? It looks great! He's got the wisps of the flames all down, the colors are great for plain crayons, and your brat set a nice start to everything. You can tell who each person is without asking, and they're not stick figures."

"Don't you find it concerning that all Snoke does is draw fire?"

"He drew the house. Besides, his therapist told him to."

Poe came over, "You're finally taking the little guy to therapy? That's great! How's it going?"

"Really well! He's improving a lot. Hux thinks we should have taken your advice sooner."

-

Everyone gathered in the living room, and BB and Kaylanna sat on Poe's lap, Finn and Rey taking the other seat on the small couch. Kylo had dropped into the recliner, and pulled Hux onto his lap when the man got too close. He'd struggled to get away, but Kylo kept a firm hold on his husband until he gave up and sighed. To make him happy, he'd snuck a hand under Hux's sweater to rub his belly. The ginger succumbed to his fate and relaxed, leaning against Kylo.

Leia, Luke, and Han took the other couch, Chewie dropping between Han and Leia and hugging them both. He said something in his native language to Han, who grumbled and crossed his arms.

Snoke was by the Christmas tree, in charge of distributing presents as the oldest child. While they waited, he inspected all the ornaments. He'd broken one last year, one that Leia had found in the attic that had belonged to her adopted parents, so she was eyeing him warily.

He looked at her, a glittery red one in hand. "Is this one of the old ones?"

"That's from the dollar store," Han answered. 

He smashed it, crunching it in his fist. He let it go, and the large pieces fell to the floor, landing on a present. A few chunks of glue and glitter were stuck to his hand. "Oh."

"Han! He does this every year, why would you tell him it was cheap?"

"It's one of the plastic ones! He can't hurt himself with it." Snoke brushed off the glue and glitter, looking disappointed. "Just brush the glitter onto the floor, kid. It'll get vacuumed up later."

"Okay, Grandpa." Snoke knelt down to push the ornament remains off of the present and onto the floor. "Should I start handing things out, now?"

Leia gave the go ahead, and Snoke picked up the present he'd just cleaned. He walked over and handed it to Han. "This one's from Dad."

"And him," Kylo added.

"No, just Dad."

"We made it together!"

"I just sat there."

"It was his idea!"

Han opened it up. It was a framed picture, photoshopped to make it look like Kylo was stabbing Han with some kind of laser sword. Han shrugged, "Eh, at least I got something from you." Snoke handed the card that had fallen off of it. Han opened that, and sighed. "A coupon for one free stabbing. And a family picture of the three of you flipping me off."

"An identical picture was sent to Hux's parents, don't worry," Kylo said, as if that made it any better.

"Great start, kid. What's next, an actual stabbing?" Kylo shrugged, and Han gave him a glare.

Snoke picked up a random present, "Well, just redeem the coupon and there will be." He looked at the label. "This one's for BB, from Kaylanna, Mom, and Dad." Snoke went over and shoved it at BB, who excitedly began opening it, revealing the orange and white backpack Kaylanna said they'd wanted. As BB thanked their sister for picking out the gift, Snoke grabbed another few gifts from beneath the tree.

"For Uncle Luke, from Dad. For Chewie, from Luke. And for Grandma, from the Dameron-Skywalkers."

"You're supposed to do it one at a time," Poe said to him. Snoke gave him a blank look. "Or not." The boy left his post to go to his parents. Hux hugged him, and checked on his hand. Satisfied that he was unharmed, Hux wrapped his arms around him to keep him close.

Chewie opened his, and found a fur hat. "Since you were complaining about the cold!" Luke said to him. Chewie reached over Han to hug him, squishing his best friend in the process. Han protested. Luke opened his, next, and found a bag of long, plastic baby arms and velcro stickers. "Ben, what is this?"

"I know how much you like doing the fake hand thing-"

"I've only done it twice-"

"-so now it's funnier. Just stick the thing on your arm when you take off your hand."

"Alright, it's funny." Luke finally gave in. He tucked the two packs between his feet.

Leia opened up hers, and gasped. "This is-"

"A photograph of your father and mother we found at a yard sale," Poe said. Leia gently placed the framed picture of Bail and Breha Organa onto the side table, with other pictures of family members. 

As Leia thanked them, Snoke went back to the present piles and picked through it for a few gifts. He lifted up his small pile and then dropped them onto Kaylanna. "Here you go."

"One at a time, kid!"

"I'm the one distributing them so I think I get to decide how many I do at once." Snoke went back to the presents and started arranging them by person as Kaylanna opened all of hers.

Multiple water color sets, other paints, brushes, and notebooks made up the majority, which by her giggling, was exactly what she wanted. There was a sweater from Chewie, which she pulled on immediately. "Can I paint once we're done?" Poe nodded. Snoke picked up a single present and read the label, looking confused.

"Why is this one just labeled 'fetus, from Grandpa'? Who is this for?"

Han spoke up, "I forgot the 'to'. It's for your little sibling."

"They're not born yet."

"That's why it says fetus. Give it to Red." Hux grumbled at the nickname Han always called him. Snoke brought the present over to his parents, and Hux opened it up. It was a pile of baby clothes, all with some variation of 'grandpa loves me' on them. 

Hux looked at them all in silence, and then said, "These are terrible. I'm not letting my child wear these."

"Keep 'em. I have an idea for them." Kylo dumped them all in the bag set beside them. "Snoke, open one of your presents."

Snoke picked up one from his little pile of presents. "It's from Uncle Poe." He opened it up, but then stopped partway. His face fell, and he threw the gift on the ground. He went to the fireplace and grabbed the little basket on top, digging through it for the receipt. The 'receipt bucket' had been made after years of Kylo bringing in terrible gifts, and Hux accidentally bringing in something offensive to the Organa family his first year with them, so that if you got a gift you'd never use or hated, you could always bring it into the store to exchange it for something.

He pulled out the receipt for the gift, handed it to Kylo, and then left the room. Hux got up and went after him. "Snoke? What's wrong?"

"What the _fuck_ did you buy for my kid, Dameron?" Kaylanna gasped at the bad word. Rey pulled the kids close seeing how angry Kylo was getting.

"It was Han's idea! He told me Snoke liked masks."

Han nodded. "He loved the halloween masks I got him last year. He wore the zombie insect one the whole night. Fell asleep in it."

Poe froze. "Wait... halloween masks?"

"That's what I said. What else is there?" 

BB broke free of Rey's hold and crawled over to the thrown present. They unwrapped it and looked at it. "Papá! This is mean!" BB held up the flesh colored ski mask. Han whistled, and muttered a 'yikes' under his breath.

Kylo stood up. "My kid almost _died_ , like hell I'm going to let you make fun of him!" There was always a fight during the family get togethers, and it seemed like it would be Kylo and Poe this year.

Hux and Snoke came back in the room, and Kylo immediately focused on them, the pending fight being put on hold. He tugged Hux back onto his lap, sitting down again, and Snoke onto the arm. Hux leaned against his husband. "I hate the holidays. We're not doing Christmas anymore. It'll just be a nice day off in our own house." Kylo murmured an agreement to him.

Snoke pried himself away and went back to the present pile, resuming his job quietly. He passed out a few more random presents, and the picked up one labeled to Poe. "For Uncle Poe, from Kaylanna, Rey, and Finn." He stood there, staring down at it. He gripped it tightly, and then brought it up like he was going to smash it. 

He exhaled and gave it to Poe. "I'm not smashing it because I'm better than you." BB rolled their eyes, so Snoke glared at them. Poe unwrapped it, revealing the model airplane box inside. 

"This is the model that my mother flew!"

Snoke reached for it. "I changed my mind I'm smashing it." Poe held it out of reach, fending Snoke off with one hand. Han stood up and wrapped his arms around his grandson, pulling him back as he hissed. 

"Come on, kid, you were doing so well."

"I'm gonna kill him for making fun of me."

"Shh, it was a misunderstanding. Why don't you give your dad a gift? I'd say give one to Red but he didn't get any."

"He got one for Grandma. That's mean of you guys." Han deposited Snoke by the tree. "This is why we're awful to you." Snoke picked up said gift for Leia, a tiny, flat little thing. He handed it to her. 

She opened it, and immediately looked disappointed. "A gift card for a flower shop?"

"Your front yard is dead," Hux explained. "One of my assistants wanted to start up a shop, so I helped him out, and now you can be a customer."

"I refuse to support anything relating to your company."

"It's flowers, Organa. It's not like they have the company logo stamped on them."

"Who wants this?" No one did. "Give it to someone else." She tossed it over to him. Hux sighed and put it in their bag.

-

The rest of the gift exchange went by without incident, though Snoke would reach for the model airplane every time he was near Poe. Once all the gifts were passed out, Snoke flopped down on the floor and gave up on standing. He tugged down the blanket Han had gotten him over himself, hiding underneath the skull pattern.

Hux yawned, leaning against Kylo. "Can we leave, now?"

"Yeah, we need to get to the pet store before it closes."

Hux froze, tensing up. "What for?"

Snoke bolted upright, "My tarantula!"

" _No._ "

Kylo grinned at Snoke. "Let's go, kiddo!" He lifted up Hux and headed off. Snoke bit his blanket to hold it and grabbed their bag, following. 

"We're not getting a spider!"

"We already bought all the supplies. Goodbye, everyone! We're never coming back!"

"Ben!" Kylo turned around to give his father the finger. He turned back and the three of them left. 

Kaylanna and BB gave their parents uneasy looks. Poe avoided their gazes, Finn slumped, and Rey just sighed. "I told you they were mean!"

"Yeah, Kay, no one ever doubted you." Finn scrubbed a hand over his face. "I'm so glad they're never coming back."

"What do you think Kylo's gonna do with all those baby clothes?"

"Blow them up, probably."

-

Han was curious about what his son was going to do with the clothes he'd scoured a bunch of different stores for, and clicked onto his youtube channel when he received a notification for a new video. He never told Kylo that he subscribed to his channel, in fear of being blocked. It was nice to see what his son and grandson were up to.

Plus, it was satisfying to see Snoke wear all the masks he'd bought for him. He particularly favored the zombie ones, wearing those more often than the others. 

The video was titled "Burning 15 Plastic Babies and Life Update (Christmas Story)!!!!," and Han mourned the money he'd spent. Sure enough, as he clicked play, he was greeted with a pan over of fifteen cheap plastic babies, all dress in the clothes he'd purchased. They were glued down to a wooden board, which was on top of sand. The video started off in silence, and then Kylo, wearing his custom mask, walked into view holding lighter fluid. He dosed each of the babies, and the board, and then dropped a match onto the end. It immediately burst into flames. Music started.

The camera turned towards who was holding it, and Snoke, wearing a gas mask, gave it a thumbs up. 

He should have just bought more masks, and a small one for the baby, instead of wasting his money. Not that it was his money in the first place.

As the video played on, Snoke put the camera down on a table and walked over to the fire. He threw the mask Poe had bought him into the fire, and Kylo high-fived him.

After the babies burned, the clothes turning into ashes with the wood, and the plastic melting into horrifying remains, Kylo took out a hose and sprayed them until all the fire was gone, and then more until the sand box was a muddy mess. 

Snoke retrieved the camera. "Fire safety, guys! Always make sure to drown whatever you're burning when you're done to protect the environment!"

"And now for what you all are here for, the Christmas story. As you guys know, my family is shit, and this year, they only continued to top it. We went to their house to open gifts, and they weren't very welcoming. My cousin's kids refused to spend time with Snoke, my parents refused to use my name, and they outwardly hate Hux for some reason, which is mean, since he's pregnant and really tired and sick all the time. Point, he gave my mother a gift card to a flower shop his old assistant started up after quitting his job, and Mitaka is like, the nicest person in the world, and deserves only success with his shop, and she refused to accept it! How rude is that? Her garden is dead, and Hux was giving her free supplies- and she gave it back to him. And then no one got him anything at all!" He got very animated as he spoke, gesturing heavily with his arms.

Snoke backed up to get his whole body in the shot.

"And then my cousin's boyfriend Poe had the fucking gall to buy one of those skin colored cloth masks for Snoke, and he got really upset, and Poe didn't even apologize for it, he just made some bullshit excuse- I bought his fucking kid a plane covered notebook, and he gets something rude for mine? I want to punch him." He clenched his fist, and was probably scowling underneath his mask.

Snoke turned the camera around. "I read the comments and a lot of you keep asking what it felt like to be burned alive and let me tell you it's like... It's like being burned alive. I have therapy twice a week." 

Kylo took the camera from him. "He's no longer scared of fire! These videos are really great for him. Anyways, amidst all that, my dad bought those clothes we put on the babies. Hux hated them so they had to go. It was all very upsetting so Hux has officially banned Christmas in our house, and we're never going back to my family's again."

"I want to show them my spider!"

He handed the camera back to Snoke, and Snoke darted off with it up the stairs. He entered his bedroom where there was a tank on top of a desk. He opened it up and held the camera inside to show a large, silver tarantula. "This is Phasma! She's a ghost ornamental tarantula! Isn't she great?"

His son really did get a tarantula for the kid. Han was disturbed by it, but even he had to admit she looked pretty cool.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow/talk to me on Tumblr! @Oblioknowlton or @Tinybibmpreg


End file.
